We want to adopt...but when!?

I could write about a bajillion things going on in my head right now, but all I honestly have been seriously thinking about is adoption.

Hart and I want to adopt. We have talked about adoption since we first started dating. We weren't like most couples. Usually most couples don't face a strenuous trial like going through a life-changing illness, surgeries, or life and death situations in the first month of dating, but we did. We knew early in our relationship that what we had gone through together was challenging and God had molded us for each other through that time, very quickly.

My surgeon at Duke had told me I might have difficulty conceiving. If you know me well, then you just laughed, because THAT WAS NOT THE CASE AT ALL! In fact, we weren't trying one bit to get pregnant... more like not trying hard enough to AVOID it!

And yes, you know, we have the biggest blessing of our son, Micaiah, whom we love dearly.

We had talked about adoption while dating, because I wanted to make sure Hart was okay with that if we were never able to have children naturally. The wise man he is knew that God was in control.

With complications in the hospital after having Micaiah and just how ROUGH a c-section recovery really can be led us to actually look at each other and joke to each other "Wanna adopt the next one!?" standing right over our newborn son.

Then, there have been a lot of other things that God has put on our hearts in different ways. I do admit that I have a lot of fears, too. Knowing my love for Micaiah, it is hard for me to comprehend loving another child the same way, yet I know that God would pour that love out in my heart when the time was right. The truth is... I am seriously happy and content with our son. I love him so much and he is such a delight.

Hart and I are praying about when might be the best time for us to pursue having another child.

To be completely honest, our financial situation is very tight. We live on one income and barely make enough to get by some months, yet, no matter how we look at it, we are richly richly blessed. We have a house that we mostly own, paid for cars, a beautiful son (&dog), each other and we never ever go without food or clean water or the occasional new clothes.

I know that you always hear that you will never have enough money saved up for having children, so don't wait for that. Somehow "deciding" to adopt is harder than just waiting to get pregnant. I don't know why it seems like that for me, but it does.

I remind myself that God would provide for us even more, but there may be wisdom in waiting a little longer, too.

Hart told me that something inside of him just "clicked" and that when I am ready we can start the adoption process.

So, we have been praying through the timing and are waiting on the Lord right now.

I look around us. We honestly have more to give. We have more chairs around our dining room table. We always have extra food. We have clothes to wear (unless it were a GIRL!). We have plenty of toys that's for sure!

Please pray for our hearts in this matter and that we would be willing to trust God knowing that even with another little one, he would care so deeply for us that he would provide exceedingly above all we can think or imagine!